Ten things I’ve experienced in a year on the tube (and the bitter Londoner I’ve apparently become)

Screen shot 2013-08-12 at 23.02.14

  1. If you want to make rush hour quieter, host the Olympics. Worked a treat
  2. Looking in the mirror after being on the tube and seeing black across my face. This could be special to me
  3. The overly confident tube goers who think they can stand without holding on, then slam into you because they’re busy playing candy crush on their ipad
  4. The ‘panickers’ that ask you to move when the train is packed and its your stop that’s coming up too. For which you respond with a cold London glance and proceed to make them look foolish by also getting off the train at their stop too and feeling smug
  5. Couples taking slow strolls along the tube platform at 8am. It’s rush hour guys, look lively
  6. If you don’t accept the queuing system on the jubilee line, you are offering yourself as a sacrifice to tense commuters hungry for an excuse to express their British ways. A sea of tutting will be coming your way
  7. Dirty stop outs after Holi festival are perhaps a little misguided. Should you find yourself in this situation, at least jump in the Thames before the tube journey if you can’t shower at theirs
  8. Parents who believe rush hour is the best time to test out their toddler’s walking ability. It’s not
  9. The public mistaking tube riders for their audience. No, actually I don’t care that you completed your Christmas shopping last year in under 4 hours. Show off
  10. Being yawned on. It’s hard to explain, but it happened. I remember it well

Sadly I’ve still not seen a fox, watch this space though….

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